Find out what's the buzz in Google Buzz

GoogleBuzz.. Google's attempt to push into the social media foray. details here http://mashable.com/2010/02/09/google-buzz/

Veggietales - Gated community

My colleague shared this with me during lunch break. I thought it was funny..

Stana's joke

A guy meets a hooker in a bar.

She says, "this is your lucky night. Let's play a game.
I'll do absolutely anything you want for $300,
so long as you can say it in three words."

The guy replies, "Hey, why not?"

He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and,
one at a time, lay three $100 bills on the bar and says slowly,
"paint.. my.. house."

Snail crossing the road

(Thx Lukas for sharing)

Winston Churchill

"Don't be content with things as they are, the earth is yours and the fullness thereof"

Sir Winston Churchill certainly had no fear of being different.

He endlessly smoke huge cigars; slept all morning, then worked through the night;
dictated crucial war correspondence to his secretary while lying in the bath;
and drank more champagne in a week than most of us do in a lifetime.

This provoked the rebuke from fellow MP Bessie Braddock,
'Mr Churchill, you are drunk.'

He famously replied,
'Indeed, madam, and you're ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

Musings..

Weakness makes you fail.
Failure makes you stronger.

It's okay to lose.
Just don't lose the lesson.

Direction kills creativity. Screw the brief?

Time management is not the issue.
Deadline is!

Arghhh...

1Malaysia F1 Team

1Malaysia F1 team.(I had to put up this rainbow illustation instead of the rainbow F1 car for you-know-what reason.)

Question - Can we afford this team?
Investment of RM1.7billion per year is needed to maintain this rainbow coloured team. (They couldn't differentiate how many colors does a rainbow consists.)

Racing fuel alone cost about US$ 1,300 per lap.
That is roughly US$ 1.8mil for the complete season.
There are still millions that are needed for R&D, Team salary, Travel expenses etcs.

Havent we already have Petronas for F1 sponsorship?

You said arrival of F1 in our country has significantly boosted sports tourism in the country.
Yet, I had to explain to my friends in Europe that Malaysia is not a region in China and that it sits between Thailand and Singapore.

You said having our own team help make use of the Sepang International Circuit.

Now you agreed that SIC is a bad investment? and that you had to spend more money to make use of it? Havent you had JGTs, MER and those smaller race going on? Not forgetting all those premium race clubs who uses the track all these while.

On generating $ through merchandising - Datuk Tony Fernandes pointed out that ONE of the F1 team had MANAGED to sell GBP150 million worth of T-Shirts for merchandise.

Now tell me Sir, do you think that selling rainbow coloured T-Shirts is going to net you at least a quarter of that money?

and what's with this 1Malaysia thing you readers'd ask?
According to Off The Edge, It won the best campaign promise for 2009.

The launch of 1Malaysia has done wonders to take attention away from 1Mongolian.

Writer

There was once a young man who in his youth,
professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "Great"
He said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read,
stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level,
stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft.

Writing error messages.

New year resolution

This year,
Screw the vow to quit smoking or to exercise more,
Or to learn a new language or learning new word everyday..

Some new year resolutions I’ll be making instead:

Say excuse me when I sneeze & cover my mouth when I sneeze

Smile more often, (and hopefully the world smiles back at me)

Develop a firm handshake,

Sit up straight,

Show more interest in people, it helps in making more friends

When aggravated, count from 1 to (_fill in numbers_) before I speak.

Drink more water, don’t play with my food & don’t waste food,

Eat slower, learn to appreciate a much disliked food
(will still pass on the beef pâté that Mr.Bean ordered)

Cut down on alcohol*, sugar*, cigarettes*
(*subject to environment/situational variables)

Little, but significant changes..

they said that people who has a lot of time,
normally don't have a lot to say.

and the one who has a lot to say,
often couldn't find time to say it.

Work has been taxing.
Plus, I'm trying to live without internet these days.
(After working hours that is..)

Yeah, what an excuse you'd say.

Today is the last day of 2009,
Tomorrow comes 2010!

A New Year is...

A time
to celebrate
yesterday’s successes
and tomorrow’s opportunities.

A time
to be grateful
for family and friends,
for good times and good fortune,

A time
to look
with anticipation toward
hopes and dreams come true.

Wishing you a new year
filled with exciting possibilities
and all the rewards
of true happiness.


Cheers,
T

The Boom of Social Sites

Advice

Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV, My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter!

I'm 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having affair for the past six months. He wont go to counseling, and I'm afraid I'm a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

John

and this is why men shouldn't write advice columns..

Life is a confidence trick!

Having confidence is like having an erection of the personality. Some can sustain their confidence almost indefinitely, others have it for a few seconds before they revert to feeling small and embarrassed.

They said that confidence is self-perpetuating. Create some and soon you'll have more. Don't worry if you don't know how, I've learned that you can gain confidence by drinking.

Alcohol help you lose the 3 big confidence inhibitors:

1. your self-doubt

2. your self-awareness

3. your pathetically underpowered personality.

However, there is a fine line of doing it. Overdo it and you'll end up losing it.

Losing confidence is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. One moment you have it and can charm the birds out of the trees. The next you've lost it and you're being shat on by every bird in the tree.

You get the idea..

We cant polish a turd

Have been busy at work,
Learned that we can't polish a turd, BUT we can always roll it in glitter.
AND Sis lend me this Spongebob,
whenever I presses the nose it makes those emo noises, had a good laugh =)
Reminds me of Chris *grins*

haven't had internet access these days..
quick updates,

Came across Champagne & Handcuff by Alan Ardy.

Enjoy.

... "I love your poem – send me more!” you said,
Even though it urged you into my bed.

Or even the stairs or the kitchen floor
And then perhaps up against the fridge door!

Then whispering your name and holding you tight,
Asleep in my arms far into the night.

But a crucial point I’m eager to stress,
Even though I’d love to help you undress,

Is that my focus isn’t between your thighs
But somewhere behind your beautiful eyes. ...

Oh, and Happy birthday Jc,

noticed the strange expression? (No, its not me or my lame joke, I swear!)

Message to a neighbour

Living in city means we had to make do with strangers living around us. We called them - neighbours. (sometimes housemates if you rent a room) You learn to hate them when you had to hear what they do, from their arguments to their television to them making out, etc..

At times, you need to put on earplugs when you go to bed, but you can't be doing that on a weekday because, how are you going to wake up the next day?

Behold, the subtle way to remind the neighbor to keep it low..

Tired Mind

Above picture kinda describe what I'm experiencing now..

Trying to catch up with work thus have not been indulging in thinking lately,

so here goes..

Unusual (and fun!) Date Ideas

1.Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence

2.Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books

3.Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress up as Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”

4.Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen

5.Dress up as superheros and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”

6.Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.

7.Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.

8.Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.

9.Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.

10.Dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.

11.Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!

12.In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.

13.Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.

14.Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jacks.

15.Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things.

16.Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras.

17.With camera and pair of boots, make photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.

18.Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn.

19.Go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.

20.Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.

21. Add your idea here!

OK. back to work..

Work is

Work is (___fill in the blank___)

For me, media planning is like proposing a plan. A picture that worth ten thousand words.. and after much hard work, your client buys the idea, and then they start to believe in using the picture and words at the same time.. and then not, and then maybe just the picture, maybe not..

Here's a poem for you guys in this industry.

When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
When the client's hopping mad,
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory
Add a picture of his factory

-Anonymous

I think that working in media agency resembles acting in a play. You know, just like in the opera when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding,

he sings.

Social life

Just when I thought that I hardly have a social life, my mate called me up for a night out the other day but then I was too tired. My apologies.

I tend to wake up early in the morning and bid my bed farewell to prepare for work. After the long hours at work, the first thing you think of after dinner probably is your bed too right? ... Ok, maybe not.

And then it hit me that it's not just me that has got problem with my bed. I remembered what Guy Browning said in his book, that children have to go to bed, and their parents have to put them to bed, then, there is old people who wants to go to bed, and how young lovers don't want to get out of bed..

Thus by definition, it should be safe saying that people with a social life are those who have a dysfunctional relationship with their bed?

What the heck.. Things have been great this week.. Quite happening I must say.. from Oriental Daily dinner to Media Prima screening to Kancil Awards to Tanjung Sepat day-trip and then All-American Rejects tonight!

I've got some tickets to spare.

Call me. You know you want to :D

Why did the emo kid cross the road?

Hope the picture above tells you a little bit about what an emo is.

Now here's some emo jokes..

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3. One to replace it, & two to write a poem about how they miss the old one.

What do you say to an emo kid to make him cry outside the mall?
Anything.

So, an emo kid walks into a bar…
Then he quickly leaves to go home and write in his Livejounal about it.

How can you tell it’s an emo guy hitting on you and not a regular dude?
Instead of asking for your phone number, he asks for your poetry blog.

Why do emo kids always take the flight that leaves at midnight?
They prefer to take the red-eye.

What’s the difference between emo grass and normal grass?
Emo grass cuts itself.

What did the emo kid say to the other emo kid?
“Stop crying. You’re stealing all of the negative attention.”

What do emo kids use as birth control?
Their personalities.

If a blonde and an emo jump off a bridge, who drowns first?
The blonde- from the emo’s tears on the way down.

“Tickle Me Elmo was so last year. Now it’s…Cry With Me Emo!”

and by now, you should know why did the emo kid cross the road.

To get a box of tissues of course!